Guys v Girls
by gawilliams
Summary: Bones makes a little deal with Booth that he, Hodgins, and Sweets can't put together a set of toys for their daughter in a set time frame.


_This one takes place a couple of more months after the third episode of season seven. I thought that if Angela, and also to a smaller degree Bones, couldn't put together a toy for Michael, then how would Booth, Hodgins, and Sweets fare especially given Hodgins utter failure also with the walker toy. This one isn't a serious piece like most will be dealing with season seven episodes. Instead I thought a purely humorous one was in order. I hope you enjoy this one. Gregg._

_Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

"Dude," Sweets said as he looked at the mass of parts laid out before them. "How did you get talked into this?"

"You really don't know a thing about women, do you?" Hodgins said from his spot on the floor across from Booth.

"I do this and get many sexual favors in return," Booth admitted, turning a bit red. With the guys he was a little more open when the subject of sex came up.

"Ditto with Angie," Hodgins admitted on his end.

"You two are hopelessly whipped," Sweets told them as he took his place on the floor.

"This coming from the man who can't go two days without a visit from the Energizer bunny herself in your office?" Booth glared. Of course he was whipped, but he'd be damned if he'd ever admit it. Besides he was scared of Bones and she hated the term, so any thought, use, or implication on his part was a guaranteed trip to punishment Hell.

"Hey, that's not true!" Sweets insisted.

"How many times did Daisy show up for a bit of the horizontal mamba in your office?" Hodgins inquired.

"mnshjdkd..." Sweets mumbled incoherently.

"What was that, Sweets?" Booth asked, giving the kid his best intimidating interrogation stare.

"Five," Sweets said in a defeated monotone.

"And you call us whipped," Hodgins shook his head in mock disdain.

"You can't even say no in your own office," Booth commented with a shake of his own head. He looked down at the mess and handed Sweets a copy of the instructions. "Do something useful and see what the Hell they mean by all this shit," he ordered the psychologist.

_**Two Hours Later**_

"You are pure evil, Sweetie," Angela told Brennan as they were in the kitchen working on dinner for everyone. "You don't honestly believe that those guys will get that thing together, do you?" she asked.

"I highly doubt it, but Booth was so adamant about his prowess with putting together children's toys that I decided to put it to the test," Brennan told her best female friend. "I was even generous enough to allow him to have some assistance from Hodgins and Sweets."

"How long do you expect them to take before they give up?" Angela asked curiously. She was amused that Brennan could be so Machiavellian, and that Booth was going along with it.

"I estimate that they will admit defeat in fifteen more minutes," Brennan informed her, and then looked at her watch. "Make that fourteen minutes."

"And if they succeed?" Angela asked.

"I promised Booth a night of sexual favors and fantasy fulfillment," she smiled. "Needless to say, he was very much in favor of putting the item in question together. Granted I won't be having sex for another few weeks, but Booth was very eager nonetheless."

"I promised Hodgie a night of sexual abandon at the Jeffersonian in some of the more interesting display rooms," she winked.

"Are you going to warn Cam so she can make sure that the security cameras have been turned off in those rooms?" Brennan chuckled. She looked over at her one month old daughter. She was sleeping in the bassinet while Angela's son, Michael, was quietly fiddling with a toy in his portable playpen.

"I haven't decided yet," Angela winked. "Cam needs something to shake her up a bit or she gets too complacent. Besides, she always ends up blaming Hodgie, and he needs a little humbling now and again."

"So does Booth, hence today's exercise," Brennan replied.

"Ladies, we have achieved victory!" Booth bellowed out as he, Hodgins, and Sweets came into the kitchen, smiling widely. All three were strutting like proud peacocks.

"What!" Angela exclaimed.

"There is no way that you accomplished the task in this short amount of time," Brennan said firmly. She had looked at the entire setup, which made a number of walking, crawling, and dexterity oriented activities for a baby under 24 months. A total of five complex items needed to be assembled. There was no way that those three would be able to complete it within the allotted time. She was confident of that.

"Well, Bones, we did, and in a few weeks I get my prize," Booth said with a wink. The guys were one thing, but this was a bit more public than he was comfortable with for_** that **_subject to be discussed.

"Angie, I think a little visit to the Jeffersonian is in order tonight since the sitter is going to be having Michael anyway," Hodgins waggled his brows suggestively. He was thanking any God who may be listening for having the foresight to make plans for later that required a sitter. The plans could go down the toilet for all he cared now. It was party time!

Ten minutes later, after Brennan and Angela had confirmed that the items were indeed put together, and in proper working order, they returned to the proud peacocks and admitted that they had done the impossible. Brennan went over to Booth, hugged him, and told him he had succeeded. Angela sashayed over to Hodgins, told him he had done the impossible, too, and that he had better be ready for a long night. She whispered a couple of things in his ear which left him dazed, grinning like a Cheshire cat, and chomping at the bit to get out of there.

"Don't I get some sort of prize?" Sweets asked a bit petulantly.

Hodgins walked over and thrust a hundred dollar bill in his hands. "You get to babysit, Sweets, with out regular babysitter," he told him, smiling inside. There babysitter was none other than Angela's psychic. Sweets was not a fan of hers, so the young man's night wouldn't be all that great. "Order in and have a great time."

"Cool," Sweets replied. Daisy had already given him enough sex. He could relax tonight.

"How about some lunch?" Booth asked. "I'm starved."

"Men," Bones and Angela mumbled at the same time.

_**Later That Evening**_

Bones was getting the laundry together and decided to put Booth's sweat pants in the mix, too. Checking the pockets she found what looked like a receipt so she opened it to make sure it wasn't something important. Her eyes widened, and then narrowed as she read it. It was dated for that day and handwritten on Toyland receipt stationary.

**Assembly: $40**

**Home visit for assembly: $35**

**Total: $75**

They cheated! Bones was not terribly happy about that one bit. They had made such a show about how industrially capable they were, and how they had managed to do something that the girls hadn't been able to do on a simpler item some months before. It angered her even further when she realized that those guys had snuck someone into and out of the house. Her eyes lit up when she thought of a suitable punishment. Picking up her cell phone she called Angela and let her know what was going on, and then Angela was on board for some serious payback. Then she went into the bathroom and got a bottle out of the medicine cabinet. Going into the front room, she went over to Booth and tossed him the receipt.

"Care to explain?" she asked, one brow arched.

Booth looked at it and gulped. Crap! He'd forgotten to throw away the damn receipt that punk teenager insisted on writing up. "Uh, a little joke, Bones?" he smiled a sickly smile.

"You have a choice, Booth," she told him. "Vegan diet for a month, or a Brazilian done by me with this depilatory."

Booth looked a little green around the gills at the options. But he knew he didn't stand a chance and he and the guys had pulled a fast one. So he sucked it up and chose the one thing he was pretty confident wouldn't make him hurl. "Brazilian," he told her. He gulped when he saw the very wicked gleam in her eyes. He was going to rip Hodgins' balls off for even making that absurd idea in the first place.

"Don't worry about Hodgins," Bones told him, as if she could read his mind. "Angela is meting out a suitable punishment as we speak."

_**The Next Day**_

Booth gingerly walked into the Jeffersonian and went to the lab. When he got there Hodgins caught up with him, walking just as gingerly. He had a good idea what had happened.

"Brazilian?" he asked.

"It was either that or I get another visit from my Father-in-Law," Hodgins said with a shudder of fear. "Depilatory?"

"Oh, yeah," Booth said. "I felt like Junior and the Boys were being dipped in acid!"

"Tell me about it," Hodgins told him and then they noticed the smiling women in the lab. They both groaned. "Whaddya wanna bet that Angela blabbed to everyone?" he asked.

"No bet," Booth told him, grimacing. "I don't gamble anymore, and that's a sucker's bet. The worst is that Sweets got off Scott free."

"Nah," Hodgins told him. "I told Daisy that Sweets spent most of yesterday with us telling us how much he wanted to do some pony play in his office. She let loose an excited squeal and hightailed it over to take care of her Lancelot."

Booth laughed. Still moving very gingerly he came to Bones' office. "Hey, Bones," he said, his voice hitching when his very sensitive skin made contact with his boxers. "We gotta case."

_A/N: Just some good clean fun with everyone. I hope you all enjoyed this one. Gregg._


End file.
